this is what happens...

i was about to watch "a walk to remember" for the millionth time when i realized that i already know what was going to happen. but i watched it anyway. and then i stopped after mandy moore's character was giving shane west's character googly eyes. anyway. i love that movie, but it just doesn't fit well in my day right now.i stopped watching that movie and decided that i must get back to my script writing. after all, i only have a month and a half to complete 3 scripts, and possibly film one of them. but no. i'm still stuck typing character profiles for the first one. and what's more is that i'm "challenging myself" by creating seven, yes SEVEN, main characters.it's easy to think of good thoughts in my head but getting it down in writing is another story. my thoughts are mostly images, not words. i guess my mind compensates for my excessive talkativeness, because man do i talk a lot! especially when i'm sleepy...and grumpy...and hungry...and i want to slit anyone's throat that gives me a hard time, but i don't because i probably love that person. because i wouldn't be hanging out with someone while i'm in that condition unless i love them.and there goes that word "love."i want that to be one of the dominant themes in my story, but it's so hard to do and keep everything organized at the same time. because the only love i've ever experienced is the disorganized-live-your-life-whichever-way-you-want-don't-worry-about-the-past-present-or-future kind of love. that's the kind of love i love. and to put that kind of love in writing is a daunting, even scary, task. scary because it makes me think of things.it makes me fall in love with a past love, that i shouldn't be falling in and out of love with because i know for sure that we would both be happy if we just leave things the way they are. makes me hate friends that i can't live without. makes me start liking my old friends who seemingly have abandoned me after years of spending almost every hour of every day together. it makes me think of family and the part of my family that i would rather forget but can't because i somehow feel responsible for how miserable his life is now. and i think about the good side of my family that tears me apart because i've been without them for 11 fucking years. my whole life has a bag-o-tricks full of obstacles that it likes to throw at me.it's like that show "7th heaven." every fucking thing that could possibly happen, happens to that family. which is ironic because they're so close to their God that you'd think maybe He'll bless them more than He'll punish. but no. that's television. it's not real life. i think beauty and the geeks is more real life than that show.and talking about God (yes I capitalized the "G" because i'm talking about the god that a lot of people believe in), religion is such a freaking doozy. i don't understand it. i was born into it. i've memorized the rosary. i can probably hold a vigil on my own for seven straight days. my father is catholic. my mom's protestant. but i was never baptized. and i don't want to be. most of the time, i think religion is the longest running joke ever played on the human race. sure it causes unity or whatever, but it causes so much more destruction. what is the point of it all. but i also envy those who have some kind of faith in something. people who pray when something in their life goes wrong. or people who truly believe that their "sins will be forgiven." sometimes i need the that feeling. but i have that disease of not wanting to conform. i don't want to be just like everyone else. that sounds stupid and common, but it's true. sometimes i wish i was a mutant, like in x-men. so that i can be different and hated but i'm so noble that even though everyone hates me, i'll save their lives anyway. not to mention that i'd kick ass.and i can't get over this whole love deal. i feel like i fall in love with every interesting person i meet, talk to, or sometimes even see. but i don't really. most of the time i just want to have wild and crazy sex with them in their own bedroom. but i'm a virgin so i guess that's nothing new. sometimes though, i really want to get to know the person. go to a bookstore with her and read, but not really read. more like find a book that looks interesting and talk about why it's interesting. and then go get some coffee (well coffee for her if she wants, but i'd prefer a regular hot cocoa). that would be a perfect way to spend a day. talking to someone new and interesting.i bug people because i live my life like it's a fucking movie. what the hell is wrong with that? i know someone that lives his life like it's a neverending car show, but i don't bug him that much about it. or at least i don't sound fucking pissed or irritated when i bug him about it. i mean, we all live our lives the way we want right? so what if i like movies that much. and besides, you can't really get mad at me if the majority of the movies you've seen are unrealistic. i have an extensive collection of movies i've watched, and they haven't always ended "happily ever after." sometimes someone gets raped and they never find the rapist. sometimes a husband murders his wife and gets away with it. sometimes no matter how much two people were right for each other, they just couldn't love one another. and that really sucks. because those things DO happen in real life. they really do. but oh well, enough banter about that. that's just a minimal problem that i don't even have to really deal with.i just want to deal with relationships and my family. because something like this:"'cuz like i'll teach you how to swim, if you turn the bad in me into good again."would have been a good song for me and her if we ever went to the beach together. it might happen but not in the same context that i wish i would be. this whole thing is more complicated than i make it seem.then i also fall in love with people i don't know. because they touch my heart. with music and voice. because music is the language of life. many understand it, but on a select few can speak it. and when they do, it penetrates the body, the mind, and the soul. and who wouldn't fall in love with that? that's probably the best thing to fall in love with. it would be okay to die right at this moment if only i love and am loved by music.and i think we're all connected. there's no heaven or hell. and there is no purgatory. there's no personal heaven where your perfect heaven could possibly be hell, or a personal hell where your worst hell could possibly be heaven. it's just not right. when we die. we turn into gas. gas released into the air and breathed in by many. what's with that whole reincarnation thing? maybe the chemicals reactions that occur in the womb use chemicals that come from many who have passed. so we're not all "created equal." that statement is used well, but equality shouldn't even be an issue. we are great because we are not equal. that should be the motto. well bless martin luther king jr. nonetheless.blessed by who? you ask. it's just an expression. i use them too.people need us and we need people. we all live to be touched by someone. if not, then i don't know how to explain that. but i think we all yearn for a connection. always. in any way possible. from any place possible.and this is what happens when you eat to much and you can't sleep.i love you. whoever reads this through. thank you. you make my life a little bit more full.

TITLE: 100% Perfect
CAST: Man 1: Paolo Tenorio
Woman: Michelle Gamboa
Man 2: Mike Iinuma
Young Man 1: Kent Soliven*
Young Woman: May Gamboa*
*If possible
Fades in. Camera hovers around coffee shop/diner, watching an empty table, circling it then circling the objects on the table. Camera moves to a table where Man 2 waits patiently for Man 1 to arrive. All this time, music (your choice) plays in the background as the credits roll. At the end of the introduction, the camera films Man 2 and the coffee shop/diner entrance in the same frame. The music stops and the camera becomes still when Man 1 enters. Man 2 looks at Man 1 and nods his head to say hello. Man 1 does the same and sits by Man 2. (If on a table, camera switches to a side view of both men on the table, if on a bar, camera switches to behind the two men.) The camera stops. The dialogue begins. (Also if possible, during the introduction, Man 1 could narrate the first 4 paragraphs of the story, omitting ideas repeated in the coming dialogue to eliminate redundancy).
Man 1: Lost in thought and playing with bread crumbs on the table/bar.
"Yesterday on the street I passed the 100% girl."
Man 2: Reading South of the Border, West of the Sun. "Yeah? Good-looking?"
Man 1: "Not really." Takes a sip of his coffee.
Man 2: "Your favorite type, then?"
Man 1: Still playing with crumbs and sipping his coffee.
"I don't know. I can't seem to remember anything about her - the shape of her eyes or the size of her breasts."
Man 2: "Strange."
Man 1: Plays with crumbs.
"Yeah. Strange."
Man 2: "So anyhow, what did you do? Talk to her? Follow her?"
Man 1: "Nah. Just passed her on the street." Camera focuses on Man 1's hand tapping his cup of coffee.
Flashback transition. Black and White. Panoramic view of Man 1 walking from West to East and Woman walking from East to West. Camera switches to mid-view of the two, then to a close up of Man 1's body then a close up right in front of his face.

- Not Nonsense -

Goals give you ten times the energy and willpower to make things happen.

“Come to the edge,” he said.
They said, “We are afraid.”
“Come to the edge,” he said.
They came.
He pushed them… and they flew.
- Guillarme Apollinaire

Choosing goals that are important to you is one of the most essential things you can do in order to live your dreams.
- Les Brown

Curiosity kills the cat, but it works for everyone else.

Confidence makes the difference.

Things aren’t going to happen to you. Get out and happen to things.

One’s philosophy is not best expressed in words; it’s expressed in the choices one makes.
- Eleanor Roosevelt

Do not let other people tell you who you are.
- Diane Sawyer

You are never powerless.
- Jane Seymour

Your vision will become clear only when you can look into your own heart. Who looks outside, only dreams; who looks inside, also awakens.
- Carl Jung

Dreams come a size too big so we can grow into them.
- Josi Bisset

Learn to get in touch with silence within yourself and know that everything in this life has a purpose.
- Elisabeth Kubler-Ross

Never fear the space between your dreams and reality.
- Belva Davis

In relationships the little things are the big things. Try a hello, a kind note, a smile, a compliment, and a hug.

If you judge people, you have no time to love them.
- Mother Teresa

You have to discover you, what you do, and trust it.
- Barbara Streisand

We’re all in this life together. Dare to be different.

I can live for three months on a good compliment.
- Mark Twain

Success comes before work only in the dictionary.

I don’t know the key to success, but the key to failure is trying to please everyone.
- Bill Cosby

Get in the habit of noticing what you gravitate towards.
- Barbara Sher

Base your self-worth on the quality of your heart – not on your body, what you put on it, or others.

No one is useless in this world who lightens the burdens of another.
- Charles Dickens

We cannot hold a torch to light another’s path without brightening our own.
- Ben Sweetland

Friendship is the only cement that will hold the world together.
- Woodrow Wilson

Until you walk a mile in another man’s moccasins, you can’t imagine the smell.
- Robert Byrne

The quieter we become, the more we hear.
- Ram Das

Personally, I’m always ready to learn, although I do not always like to be taught.
- Winston Churchill

Be a good listener. Your ears will never get you into trouble.
- Frank Tyger

No one cares how much you know until they know how much you care.

Courage is what it takes to stand up and speak; courage is also what it takes to sit down and listen.
- Winston Churchill

When spider webs unite they can tie up a lion.
- Ethiopian Proverb

Even in harmony, each voice has its opportunity to shine.
- Renon Hulet

Not all speed is movement.
- Toni Cade Bambara

Certain springs are tapped only when we are alone.
- Anne Morrow Lindbergh

One loses many laughs by not laughing at oneself.
- Sara Jeanette Duncan

Don’t fool yourself that you are going to have it all. You are not.
- Joyce Brothers

Don’t be afraid your life will end; be afraid that it will never begin.
- Grace Hansen

Happiness isn’t about you or me. It’s about you and me.

No one is as deaf as the man who will not listen.
- Jewish Proverb

If everyone I not laughing, it probably isn’t funny.

A man’s conscience, like a warning line on the highway, tells him what he shouldn’t do – but it does not keep him from doing it.
- Frank A. Clark

The easiest words forgiven are ones unspoken.

One man’s ceiling is another man’s floor.

I never fail, I just find 10,000 ways that don’t work!
- Thomas Edison

Do or do not. There is no try.
- Yoda

It ain’t those parts of the Bible that I can’t understand bother me, It is the parts that I do understand.
- Mark Twain

A retentive memory is a good thing, but the ability to forget is the true token of greatness.
- E. Hubbard

Success usually comes to those who are too busy to be looking for it.
- Henry David Thoreau

Make history today for yesterday is gone and tomorrow never comes so do today what you must and make history.

Live life to the red line, until the day you flatline.

’Tis better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all.

After hearing two eyewitness accounts of the same accident, you begin to wonder about history.

- This Doesn't Need a Title -

Sitting in a room of darkness,
Of blinding light.
Stuck on a deserted island.
Buried alive.
Drowning.
Falling down an endless hole.
Being immortal,
Mortality.
Sleeping without a blanket.
Having a nightmare when you die, come back to life, then die and live over and over again.
Being sick.
Being well.
Hallucinating.
Watching a scary movie.
Getting in trouble.
Loving one and not being loved back.
Not fitting in.
Being popular.
Being poor.
Being rich.
Being ugly.
Being beautiful.
Being perfect.
Imperfect.
Being beaten and hurting in every part of your body.
Waiting for an answer.
Getting the answer.
Being in school.
Being at home.
Being born.
Growing.
Loving.
Living.

It's when you're alone all this is painful.

- My Favorite Song: "My Immortal" by Evanescence -

i'm so tired of being here
suppressed by all my childish fears
and if you have to leave
i wish that you would just leave
'cause your presence still lingers here
and it won't leave me alone

these wounds won't seem to heal
this pain is just too real
there's just too much that time cannot erase

[chorus]
when you cried i'd wipe away all of your tears
when you'd scream i'd fight away all of your fears
i held your hand through all of these years
but you still haveall of me

you used to captivate me
by your resonating life
now i'm bound by the life you left behind
your face it hauntsmy once pleasant dreams
your voice it chased away
all the sanity in me

these wounds won't seem to heal
this pain is just too real
there's just too much that time cannot erase

[chorus]

i've tried so hard to tell myself that you're gone
but though you're still with me
i've been alone all along

[chorus]

- Strange quote of the day... -

[You like] having someone to call your own, even if it just means inaudibly whispering, "You are so mine," to strangers.

- Untitled -

What is it about you?

It's like you're there but you're not.
You want to come close but you're staying away.
You look at me deeply then look away when I see you.
It seems to be perfect but I'm really not your type.

Mixed signs and mixed emotions all coming for me.
But then it's my fault.
I haven't told you a thing.
Sorry to keep you guessing but you're keeping me guessing.
I guess we're both afraid to ruin something great.

The story of my life.

- Explore -

Three days. Three words to think about.

Day One: I

I'm sorry if I scared you away.
I didn't intend to do so.
I'm sorry if I embarassed you.
I thought you would love it.
I knew no other way to tell you,
but I wouldn't have done it if I knew it was the wrong time.

Day Two: Love

Love, the way I feel for you is hard to explain.
Love, its not the only thing.
Love, crazy isn't it.

Day Three: You

You were surprised.
You were disappointed.
You didn't know what to say.
You didn't know what to feel, but
You know what?
You're the only one I had thought about.

There you go.
Three days and three words.
What more is there to say?

I know.

I'm sorry...I love you anyway.

- Pablo Espanol’s FAMOUS Songs -

“Girl with the Big Forehead”

I saw a girl with a big forehead.
Staring straight at me…

She said hi, I said WOAH!
You got a big forehead!

Stop looking at me!

“Ugly”

Ugly…

You’re so ugly.

You have no friends ‘cause

‘cause of you’re face!

Oh ugly!

“Song with No Words”

I know a song that has no words in it…
And this is how it goes…
………………………………………………………
………………………………………………………
………………………………………………………
………………………………………………………
………………………………………………………
………………………………………………………
Did you like my song?

- “Name a Fruit” by Julie and Paolo -

Orange!
Banana!
Lemon!
Peach!
Grape!
Apple!
Cucumber!
Pineapple!
Watermelon!
Kiwi!
…